Assignment 6: tutor feedback

I had my final video tutorial with my tutor Helen a couple of weeks ago but have waited until now to write this up as I’ve been working my way through the six assignments for rework in chronological order, and now it’s time to finalise Assignment 6.

General comments

Whilst there were a few positive comments…:

  • “Presented and formatted clearly”
  • “This is a large topic, which you have approached in a well-rounded manner to cover a spectrum of ideas”
  • “I am really pleased to see that you’re engaging with your peers again here and dealing with their feedback”
  • “It’s clear you’ve also worked to source a wide range of relevant images, creating a varied selection across documentary, fine art and constructed genres. Whilst this is certainly ambitious and admirable…”

… most of the feedback was rework advice; following straight on from “ambitious and admirable” was the counterbalance point:

  • “… I feel it conflicts with being able to discuss points and illustrations in significant depth”
  • “if you even had a few less images, this would allow you to demonstrate more fully, the analysis skills you’ve been developing throughout the unit”

In short: I went too broad and shallow in the original version. I covered too many genres and too many specific images, which diluted the focus of the points I was trying to make.

Helen suggested two possible paths to rework:

  • Merging sections
    • The ‘text’ and ‘connotations’ segments are both extrinsic elements and so could be addressed together and judiciously edited
  • Weaving the narrative theory in with technique areas
    • Instead of separating as a precursor segment

Having gone through the essay again after a few weeks of not looking at it, I can see the former approach working better with this material. The challenge with the latter is that the key points of theory are, to my mind, equally applicable to both extrinsic and intrinsic approaches and therefore difficult to synthesise the theory and the applications without repetition. I therefore plan to first of all try the former approach suggested above.

Specific pointers

A few itemised suggestions for improvement:

  • McCullin image:
    • Explain what ‘information’ I am referring to in the accompanying text, and be less prescriptive in assigning a definitive reading
  • Ut image:
    • Reword to be less ‘closed’ and more objective
  • ‘External coding’ section: decide whether to stick to the ‘decisive moment’ point or the ‘rewritten narrative point’ (and if the former, source an example)
  • My own practice:
    • Reword opening to be less negative
  • Sources:
    • Add list of illustrations
  • Fewer images:
    • Remove duplicate examples to male ore room for better visual analysis of fewer images
    • I think the following images can be cut: Cummings; Fink; Riboud; Reijlander; Goicolea
    • I may however add in an image to illustrate the ‘decisive moment’ point
  • Were there any exhibitions that might have influenced you during this project? I would include these and any other works/texts that you looked at during this time in the bibliography – even if you haven’t directly cited them in the essay
    • Good point – one certainly springs to mind (Time-Conflict-Photography) from 2014/15) and is very relevant; I will mention this

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